Guernica

This short video is pretty damn awesome. Although I don't think Picasso intended Guernica to be interpreted as a work of personal despair as much as it was a reaction to the Nazi bombings in the Northern Spanish town of Guernica, this elucidation could very well be one of the results from having lost someone from the bombings. Anyhow, without even thinking about the historical setting, the painting renders the universality of human suffering. Also, this video still doesn't defy Picasso's principal intention because it plays on visualizing art through someone else's art and another's again and again...including the creator of this work.

My immediate reaction to finding the animated guy, who I'm going to call Jules, in Van Gogh's "Room at Arles" was a feeling of emptiness...I instantly recognized where Jules was...in the bright and colorful yet lonely and empty bedroom that Van Gogh painted...and thinking about the mental anguish that Van Gogh suffered and his suicide reminded me of my own sadness and seeing Jules wake up there confused, as if he was experiencing someone else's life at the same time as his own called back this wish I'd always make when I was a child. I'd lay down on the living room sofa and I'd face toward the inside of it and put a pillow over my face to hide myself from the light and I'd pray to never have been born so that I wouldn't have to feel bad about wanting to kill myself because my mother was ill and I just couldn't stand myself and I never liked talking to anyone and I was always anxious. I seriously believed that if I prayed hard enough God would grant me my wish...but here I am so we know that didn't happen!

When Jules crushes the helpless butterfly I can't help but think how cute his innocence is...recalling that all he was was a figure in a painting. But then seeing poor Jules confined by those endless stairs made it evident that the only escape from the tortures of life is death...and the sorrow streaming from the flute...and the lack of vibrant colors... added to this melancholic realization. Finally, a full transition back to the mournful black and white painting...

Un jour, une semaine...

Le Mexique. La catedral de Guadalajara. Vodka. Pyramid mounds. Tristesse. A taxi, a bus. Cerveza. L'urbanité. Les montagnes.

Les yeux gris. Disappointment. La soledad. HIV test, negative. Drinking, arguments. Midterms, Finals. Aviones.

Montréal. La neige. English. French. anglais. français. Le métro. Dance. Las iglesias. El arte.

Drive. San Diego. Los Angeles. La Jolla. West Hollywood. Las autopistas. Study. Play.

The city. The bay. The bridge. The fog. The rainbow flag. The paint.

Application. Acceptance letter. Domestic. International.

Bordeaux. Stay. Go. HIV test, Wednesday.

Read. Write. Exams.

Death. Grief.

Vida.